The song of Sadness

Monday

Right now it's 3:10 am. I can't sleep so I'm listening to music on my laptop with the headphones. I've just stumbled on a song that I haven't heard since July of last year. Its 'Running Up that Hill' done by placebo in a cover. It made me remember a time and a feeling which, although was only last summer, feels so far off. I've told a lot of you that there was a big falling out with a bunch of my old friends and somehow in the end I was the only one that had no one left to turn to. Well, I still had friends but I had lost the people that I felt were my very best friends. I used to trust them all completely, stuck up for them even when they were in the wrong...Well just basically been there for them. But now I can't think of them without remembering how angry and hurt I felt.
I used to listen to that song every night, with the volume up high, the bass boost on, headphones in and on repeat till I fell asleep. During that time this song became the only thing that made the unhappiness go away. That's why today it is one of the two songs that can make me cry.

To get to the point, hearing that song tonight made me remember how terribly unhappy I was but at the same time it made me happy. Happy because, well, because of how happy I am now. Even with the divorce that my parents are going through I believe that I haven't been this happy in such a very long time. I only wish I could let you all know how special you have made me feel. I really love you guys.